The Look out

Things have actually been going really well for me. I am on the right med for my crazyness. I do not know if anyone actually reads this but......... oh well! I was diagnosed Bipolar 2 after a long stretch of living in hell. That was about 3 weeks ago. I also have a preblem with cutting myself. Iabout 6 months ago I started burning myself with cigarettes about every other night. Burning does not work anymore. I strarted getting horrible urges to cut myself, so I did. It has now become an addiction. Most people can not understand what someone if going through when they self harm. It is a very complicated thing to understand. I just bought this book entitled... "Women Who Hurt Themselves" by Dusty Miller. I highly recommend it for people who want to understand it or people who self harm. You know who you are. It is a womderful book about why woman do these types of things and helps woman and the families and friends about why they do it. People like my sister say.........."Oh just stop it!!!" GUESS WHAT?? YOU CAN NOT JUST STOP IT!!! I hope people read this post and realize they are not alone. I would be more than happy to talk to anyone who needs help, are looking for support, someone to talk to who GETS IT, or support figures in that person's life who needs help understanding and how to help them!

Be kind to yourselves!!!

Erin

Better Days!

Well, I have not had much to write about at all. Yesterday and today were awsome days! The best days I have had in a LONG time! Work is going well finally, nobody bitching about my mood changes or me not talking.........who the hell says I have to talk anyways at work?? No more difficult clinicals for nursing school, that created a whole bunch more stress....the harder ones! So happy that is finally over. So everything right now seems to be going well.

yet another crappy day!

Well, lets see...............today I have had to decide to to make it on my own. I am in nursing school full time and I am going to have to work full time to barely make my ends meet! I do not know if that will even be enough. I was getting help from my dad and step mom because the school program is so hard and demanding amd I could not work a lot of hours. Well things are going to havet o change. My dad and step mom have been throwing it inmy face how much they are helping me. I am so sick and tired of it I can not see straight! I am in therapy but I am going to have to stop that, because I can not afford it, I am going to be living on bare bone here. Why should I expect anything different from them. Literally everyone else in my life has screwed me over, stabbed me in the back and whatnot!

I think I will go drown my sorrows in a bottle of liquor!

Never tried this before!

Well, I decided that I should try this. I occasionally write in a journal, but it just isn't enough sometimes! Anyway, for the past year or so, I have been living in hell. Seems to be no way out of it. I write to release my feelings.

Today was a so-so day. School sucked, I did not get near enough sleep last night, what a joke, like I ever sleep anyways! Went over to a friends house who's dog just had puppies 2 days ago! That was the only upside to the day.

I will keep this one short, I do not have enough energy right now to tell my story, one day though I will!